I'm The Space Invader...

I had another miscarriage. It was my fault, I know it was. I didn’t know I was pregnant though, that’s what I tell myself to ease the guilt. I held on to hope, my last post showed that. Even though I had finished bleeding, I had a tiny shred of hope left in me that I hadn’t lost the baby. That hope prooved useless. Since November, I’ve stopped taking Diet Pills, I don’t exercise as heavily. I don’t starve myself. I decided to stop that behavior incase I became pregnant again. I haven’t been trying to get pregnant. I haven’t exactly been trying to prevent it either. It’s been almost 3 months since I stopped all the unhealthyness. I didn’t get pregnant in December or January. I’m in a waiting period now, I’m supposed to get my monthly visitor on the 11th. These past few months of NOT getting pregnant, have made me realize how much I do infact, want a baby. How is it fair that I got pregnant when I was taking diet pills? And now that I’ve begun living healthy I can’t get pregnant? It doesn’t seem fair.